flashing lights.

It’s been a while (once again) since I’ve written. And since that time… wow! I can’t even tell you everything I’ve been through to kind of come full circle. From trips to Tulsa and Florida (which is where I am currently) to the new gig at work and new nightlife experiences with hardcore DJ’s, it’s been epic. I just really had to write today of all days because of things that have transpired the past 72 hours. I’m not going to go into detail since it’s already happened and I don’t want to dwell on it. I just need to know that it will be ok. I’m having a great time so far with family down here and expect even more to come, but it’s bittersweet since my attempts at dating have been failing miserably. However, like everything else in life, you live and learn. I’m not too sure what I’ve learned this time except for the fact that I am ready to move on and start dating again.I guess it’s just a matter of finding someone who can handle my personality, my schedule & my commitment to my family before anything else. I have no doubt in my mind that it will happen sooner than later. I am also prepared for the possibility of being single for a long time to come. I’m ok with it all. In the mean time, I’m going to let life happen to me & go along for the ride. I mean, that IS the point of this blog’s title, right?

Well, in other news, I can’t wait for this weekend! Should be a fun one by celebrating Halloween in Downtown Orlando & letting my birthday celebration begin at midnight! Disney on Sunday with the family (hopefully), dinner @ Maria Bonita and bowling/drinks right after.  I’m not really looking forward to going back to Chicago with the weather the way it is, but I don’t have much of a choice yet unless U.S. Cellular builds a store while I’m down here within the next 8 days. Hey – I can always dream!

Anyways, more updates to come throughout the week. Stay tuned…

silhouettes.

One of my best friends, Omar, and I had a pretty interesting conversation tonight. Included in our talk today were subjects like twins, wrestling, video games, fatherhood, death & religion (just to name a few).  First off, congrats to my boy on finding out he will be having his first child. Or two. Twins. I can only imagine. So while we were talking about parenthood, we also started talking about getting older. I’ve known him for well over 12 years & it’s weird to see us grow into our own places. It’s also weird to have such a deep conversation with him. Not that we never have, but it’s definitely been a while. Throughout the conversation, I acted as both his psychologist and his pastor. We talked about stress and the effects it can have on people mentally and physically. I know from experience. All the advice I could give was just to let it all roll off your shoulders and smile about it. There is no use to bring yourself down when bad things happen to you or you stress out. You can’t change whatever happened to stress you out to begin with. You can’t change the fact that your car broke down on you in the middle of nowhere. You can’t stress over the stupid question that last customer asked you. You can’t change the fact that some people don’t want to see you happy. Just mellow out. We also ended up talking about the afterlife and religion. Is it normal for us to question religion, God & the afterlife? What if nothing happens after you die? Where do we end up? Like the title of my blog says: when will this flight end? I think we all question it all at one point in our lives. I see all of these different religions out there and there are some that make sense to me since they basically have the same basic belief in a higher authority than any man. Yes, some of them are based on mortal men, but their followers are just as dedicated to their beliefs as those of my Christian faith. I know where I stand and what my personal beliefs are, but I also don’t discriminate against or persecute others who don’t believe the exact same thing I do. I also see some flaws in my own faith. For instance, what is tithing? What is considered “10 %?” I hear it in church after church, but I believe it’s more than just money. In the days of Christ, He did not ask for anything from those that listened to Him. He would only leave them with teachings of virtue for all man to live by. The “offerings” of food, animals and other possessions they would give to Jesus would be just that: offerings. Offerings from the heart. They were offerings that they could afford. They didn’t necessarily have to be 10% of a cow or bread. It would be what they felt they could offer. In the church today, how do you think an unemployed man visiting the church for the first time because he’s interested to see what God is all about feels when the preacher goes on about giving for 20-30min? He has nothing to offer except an open heart  & open mind, not an open wallet. Does that make him last in the line into heaven? If my parents or friends are having financial difficulties, would my offering to help them be less significant than giving it to the church? I mean, doesn’t it all go to those who are in need anyways?

*sigh*

Well, I think I mouthed off about it all a bit much, but it was interesting to talk to Omar about our shared experiences with church and religion in order to have a better understanding of where we are in our own journey. I’d love to hear what others think about this, so feel free to leave a comment or two. Stay tuned…

use somebody.

As promised, I’m going to try and write a bit more often on here. This blog was initially created to keep track of my own journey through this life. Unfortunately, I haven’t been keeping up very much and have only been on here when I’m on vacation or something. That being said, let’s see if I can update you with what’s been going on, good and bad.

This is the last week my store for over two years will be open. I guess it would be a little bittersweet if everyone was still there. It makes it a bit easier to leave when I know everyone, including myself, are going to end up in better places. More money, more work to do, more opportunities. After Friday, I’ll be in new territory with new stores, meeting new co-workers and new people altogether. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I know everything will work out when it’s all said and done.

My car is finally a little healthier after today. Now that it’s in working order since the alternator from hell was replaced, I feel a bit more motivated to work on the car. I can finally open up my Haynes repair manual and slowly upgrade everything inside and out. My next projects include changing the brakes, replacing fuses, doing the timing belt, getting my window realigned, and installing a full body kit on the car (front & rear bumpers and side skirts). It should be a fun few months! I’m hoping to get most of it down before the winter weather starts. There is going to be some serious money to be made in the new floater position I have & some serious money management needed on my part. With my 2-week vacation back to Orlando coming up in a little less than 2 months, I have lots to prepare for!

My blog today needs some balance, so here’s a story for you. Traffic due to road construction today on Cermak Rd. One lane open. I look to my right and I see a green Ford Focus driving on the grass/sidewalk to pass up everyone??? THEN the dude has the nerve to beep his horn at everyone who is on the ACTUAL road. The guy passes me and it’s some crazy white old dude who is screaming & cursing at himself! I thought the guy was gonna snap like Michael Douglas in the movie “Falling Down.” That’s my negative on the blog.

Enough of that.

I probably sound like a broken record player, but I love how things seem to change over the years. I can say for myself that I’ve gone through huge changes that have helped me become the man I am today. I’ve learned about who I have become by learning from my mistakes & I hope to keep that trend going. It’s just a real pleasantry when you talk to other people who have gone through the same transformation. It’s funny to look back and recall the mindset we were in 5-6 years ago, to think about where we would be today if we didn’t go through the experiences we have. I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a good number of years. We spent a nice evening just catching up, talking about life, work, family, friends. I was thinking today, “What if I had that same dinner back when I knew her?” I hate to think that I would be the immature person I was back then, but it would probably be true. It’s nice to know that we’ve grown up to be adults finally. I never really thought it would happen to me since my interests haven’t really changed that much over the years. I still love to watch/buy movies and play the occasional video game here and there to release the stresses of real life (whatever those were back then). It just feels different. I see it all around me with the friends and family I’ve had around me most of my life. To be honest, I don’t like to think about the fact that I’m getting older (26 in two months). It’s a weird feeling to know that so many years of your life have already passed you by. It’s a sad feeling to know that while I get older, so are my grandparents and even my own parents. We don’t know how much time we have left on this earth. I want to make the best of it, especially in my relationships with friends and family alike. When I think I couldn’t possibly add another great friend to my list, one pops up! I’m glad for it & happy that I have another familiar ear to listen to me…

Well, I’m off to bed. I’ve been yawning for the past hour, but I definitely wanted to finish this before I knocked out. I’m starting to get my regular sleep pattern back, so wish me luck! Stay tuned for more…

“Vivere ogni giorno come il suo ultimo.”

And THAT is what I’m going to have tattooed on me! It’s Italian. haha

I don’t know which would be better: the Italian translation or the same in Latin, which would be:

“Ago cotidie amo vestri permaneo.”

The only issue I would have would be saying it in Latin. It’s not as easy for me to say, but oh well.

So now, I just have to figure out how to design the tattoo. Any ideas would be helpful.

I’ll be blogging again sooner than later. Don’t give out on me yet, blog!

what happened to us?

I’m super psyched to be @ work right now!

No. Not really.

Well, for those who I didn’t tell, the store I’ve been working at for the past 2 years is closing. Don’t worry – I’m not out of a job or anything. A lot of people are moving on (and some moving out of the state) and turning new pages in their work lives. As for myself, I was offered a floater position before I left for vacation & the news of my store closing helped me accept the position. What that means is that I’ll be working sales for all the stores in this district. Good times to come. It will help get me more exposure in the company & help me find my way around Chicago since I don’t know where anything is except for food and the blue line. The pay is going to be more & my direct report will be the district manager. My main goal is to get this sales manager position I’ve been preparing for during the past few months. This move shouldn’t really affect it so I’m happy about that. At the same time, it’s weird to work in other locations other than what I’m used to. I guess I don’t do too well with minor or major changes of scenary. But like everything else, I’m sure I’ll make the best of it. I know I’m going to miss all the people I work with and HOPEFULLY they will all keep in touch & we’ll all hang out as much as we do now. I can thank each and every person I’ve worked with the past 2 years with helping in my development. I’ve learned lots and this is definitely only the beginning of my career path. And if it is the end, then FL here I come.

In other news, someone reading this needs to remind me this week to go down to school & register for my freakin’ classes! Yes, I am a procrastinator. Suck it.

Good times had by all. Westchester will be missed.

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day ‘n’ nite…

So during my vacation, there were some things that did bother me. I keep harping on this issue, but it’s important. My mom has been dealing with some health issues that she tries to hide. She’s trying to be the proud mother who isn’t vulnerable. What she doesn’t realize sometimes is that her oldest son & it’s part of my job now to investigate and ask questions  to everyone on how she’s doing. She was the biggest reason I didn’t even feel like coming back. It’s hard for her being a single mother and trying to manage my siblings while she can’t manage herself at times. It scared me b/c most of the time I was there, she was in bed. And when she wasn’t in bed, she’d have to turn back home from wherever she was so she can lie down. It’s something you don’t want to see your mom go through. I know she’ll be ok, but I just can’t help but wish I was down there to help her out, especially helping with my siblings & be there financially like I should’ve been years ago. Staying up here and gaining a new sense of independence and responsibility has helped me grow as a man & I have a newfound sense of respect for my mom. I’m still thinking it all over, but if things don’t get better with my mom, I feel I may have to move down sooner than I anticipated. For those who believe in a higher power, please pray for my family and I so my path can be set before me sooner than later…

i gotta feeling…

Oh no. I did it again. I somehow managed to neglect my blog once again, even with the requests of my readers for new material Now I’m sad.

Well, what’s done is done. I can’t really blame it on anything but laziness. There’s always something to write about. It’s just my mind being preoccupied with other things besides writing. I’d probably blame it on my 2-week weight loss program I was dedicated to before my trip to Florida, which, by the way, helped me lose 10 pounds in 10 days! Impressive.

At any rate, it’s time for my novel of a blog on my much-anticipated trip to FL. I will spare many of the details to help readers avoid boredom.

I can say that this trip was definitely one that I needed at this time of my life. More than anything, it was a trip I needed to spend with my family, my friends & my mother. Her health hasn’t been the best as of late & I have been worried about her. Once again, I won’t put too many details on here since the people who needed to know have asked or have found out already. Anyways, the first half of my vacation felt like every other vacation to FL since I’ve been in Chicago: an action-packed, pre-scheduled agenda. My main focus was being the best man for one of my best friend’s (Edwin’s) wedding. My hotel was booked from Thursday-Sunday morning so we had a space for the bachelor party (pictures on Facebook). But interestingly enough, my first night was spent at my good friend Jennifer Rivera’s new place, which I had always managed to skip out on the past few years. It was awesome to just relax, have a few laughs, catch up & watch some TV together. It definitely brought back a nostaligic feeling I hadn’t had in years. It was a good start to my vacation since I wanted to see a lot of friends I haven’t seen in years. I can definitely blame that ononly myself b/c I am guilty of not keeping in touch when I’m in a serious relationship. My other best friend Omar is a witness to this personally. I made a decision to never do that again from this year and beyond.

Back to vacation…

I ended up doing an impromptu sleepover at Edwin’s new apartment, where we did three things together that hadn’t been done in a while: have my brother join in on the sleepover fun, eat Krystals & play Halo. Good times. Thursday was a pretty fun bachelor party in which some of the plans were made spontaneously and all in good fun. Tempers may have flown a few moments in the night where I really wanted to punch two people in the face without hesitation, but at the end of the night, everything was great! Friday was a pretty chill day @ the hotel & Pointe Orlando. Saturday was the big day for my buddy. VERY short wedding ceremony, but beautiful nonetheless. It’s weird to see my buddy get married like that. I believe it was the first wedding I’ve been to since my dad got remarried, so maybe I wasn’t used to a short ceremony. Everyone had a good time, went to the reception, improvised the best man speech, caught up with even more friends that I hadn’t seen in years and had a pretty fun night! Being with my friends and family definitely made it a good time. Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Edwin Figueroa. May God bless your lives together in this lifetime and the next.

So after this hectic half of the week was behind me and I checked out of the hotel on Sunday afternoon, I felt a bit lost haha. I had no days planned out the rest of my vacation. So what’s a man left to do? Eat. And that’s what I did. Had NYPD Pizza AND Zaxby’s in the same day! Ugh. Well, it may be safe to assume I gained back the 10 pounds I lost before vacation.  So it seemed like my vacation was just gonna be a relaxing one.

Until…

I get invited out by Jennifer Rivera (bless her heart) and her friends, including my new favorite cougar Carissa, to go out to Stardust Lounge downtown. I was excited b/c I had been wanting to go downtown for a while & didn’t get to til this night. Even though it was a Monday night, I guess I had the mentality that any day of the week is good for a few drinks. SOOOOO, not learning my lesson from my previous drinking adventure in Chicago, I decided to push my drinking limits again and had a few Long Islands to go with my Screwdriver…. ~_~ …. gone. Dizziness crept in, I remember giving Jennifer my credit card to buy me some Steak N Shake, was too drunk to tell her I didn’t want cheese on it & passed out til I woke up in her car, sick & needing to vomit not once, but twice. Next thing I remember is getting out of the car, Jennifer being a beast and basically carrying me up the stairs to the bathroom in her place & falling asleep next to the toilet. Needless to say, I am living the college experience I never did. All I can say is that I have some awesome friends who were worried about me and took care of me while I was acting the fool. Wow. That’s all I have to say.

So I eat some more food the next day @ Red Lobster, still nursing the hangover of my life so I can get ready for Universal the next day. Relaxed. Woke up the next day to go to Universal with my brother. Good times again. I can honestly say that my brother has become my best friend over the years. We’ve been able to bond more, talk about anything and everything & just have a good time even when none of our friends are around. If all my friends abandoned me, I’ll be ok b/c my brother would still be around. I love my family. Needless to say, we had a great time @ Universal, even though I was sweating randomly throughout the day like I was in a sauna.

I ended up sleeping most of my last day in Florida after I went out to eat with my dad, stephomo, mother of stephomo & my grandparents. I didn’t want to, but I needed it. As you can tell by the timestamp on this blog, my sleeping pattern isn’t the healthiest. I packed, said my goodbyes & headed back to Chi-Town.

And this was the condensed version.

So what did I take out of this last vacation? Well, a few things come to mind. I miss Florida. I miss my friends down there & miss just hanging out with them at any given day or night of the week. I love my coworkers/friends up here too, but it’s just a different environment up here. I miss my family. I don’t know what I’d do without them. I miss my mom. She’s my everything & I want to take care of her. It’s difficult being miles away when she’s feeling the way she is. I feel helpless and it’s a sucky feeling. One surprising thing I felt this vacation was the way I felt when I left. Yeah, I was gonna miss my family and all. But I remember the last time I left, I cried on the tram to my gate and cried before I boarded the plane. It was hard to leave them b/c I realized I was going to be coming back to a place by myself. I’ve established some beautiful friendships up here with the people I work with that have helped me through a lot of my issues the past few months. So I think realizing I wasn’t going to be as alone when I got back helped me cope with saying goodbye. There are a few more thoughts in my head that spawned from this vacation, but I’ll write separate blogs for those.

I’ll be back down in October/November so I hope to see even more friends when I’m down there. I love you & miss you all…

Stay tuned!

wanna be startin’ something…

So let me clear the air on some things:

Yesterday, Thursday, June 25th, 2009, the legendary Michael Jackson passed away after suffering from a cardiac arrest. He is definitely in my Top 3 when it comes to my personal favorite artist & no doubt has had one of the biggest impacts & influence on music today.

That being said, I don’t expect anyone to like the man & I can laugh at a Michael Jackson joke back in the day. However, I do see a problem when the man died just yesterday & a handful of people on my friends list on Facebook are showing the man no respect. Yeah – I’m sure you’ll say, “I respect him for his music & his contributions, but not as a man.” In my opinion, that is a bunch of bull$hit. Who are we to judge one another? People seem to forget why Michael Jackson is “weird.” The man has been in the public spotlight since he was a little kid. Everyone following him, putting him under a microscope. Yes – as the years went by, he may have gotten a bit eccentric with the way he conducted his life (meaning the change of skin and all). But, as a whole, how was the man weird? I’m sure if I was in his position, I would’ve built a theme park, movie theatre & a zoo in my backyard too! Hell, I would’ve built a whole town in my backyard so I wouldn’t have to be in the public’s eye. Don’t you wonder why you never see Michael Jackson at Disneyland? Or shopping at your nearby Publix? Can you imagine the crowds that would rush towards him in a public place? I guess my biggest issue with people are their ability to judge so quickly because of what the public, the media, TMZ, etc. tell us about a person. Make all the jokes of child molestation you want, but he was acquited of all that mess. You think he paid off these families to keep their mouths shut? Hmmm. I’m sure he could afford that while he has a $500 million debt he accrued, most of which were court costs. We want to make so many assumptions and yet none of us know what type of man he was. The only thing I am positive of is his contributions to music. I don’t know what type of father he was to his children. I don’t know what his favorite color is, favorite food, or favorite song is. I never hung out with Michael Jackson or anyone close to him. So I reserve judgement. But I’ve read so many inappropriate comments that make me wonder what type of people are out there. I mean, blatent disrespect shown towards him. I don’t care if he’s black or white or hispanic or alien or whatever. If I go to your funeral and they have me say a few words about you in front of your parents, siblings, children and loved ones, what kind of person would I be to say that I was more weird of a person than anything else. Out of all the good I left behind, I can only be remembered by you as weird? None of us were there in his last moments. None of us were there in his mind to know what he was thinking. None of us knew if he found his peace with God or not. I get upset because he had the same influence on me musically that my grandfather had on me as an overall person & I never knew if my grandfather came to know and accept Christ in his last moments alive. But I sure as hell like to think he did. I believe he did. It’s just not our place to joke around like some of us are doing when someone very influential has been taken from this earth, especially when we joke not even an hour after the person died.

What I want to take away from all of this is the fact that Michael Jackson was one, if not THE greatest performer to ever come into the business. That’s all anyone can say who didn’t know him personally. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then please just shut your mouth & have respect not only for a great musical genius, but for those we have lost.

limelight.

Wow. I feel like I’ve neglected a best friend or something since I haven’t written in a few weeks Very sad, but I’M BACK! For everyone’s reading pleasure. So let me try and update everyone on my life since last time I was on.

I’m definitely adjusting more and more to not only living up in Chicago, but also living on my own. I definitely have to thank all my friends and family from Chicago, Orlando and PR! I’ve been very grateful to have people that care enough for me and check up on me as often as they do & be there to talk to me and “poke” me as much as they do. You all know who you are and I love you all!

Well, since I’ve been back from PR, I’ve been looking forward to my next vacation. So much, in fact, that it’s almost all I can think about and continue to countdown the days til I’m down there. In the meantime, I’ve been able to keep myself occupied, thanks to my wonderful co-workers! We’ve been out to sports bars together, where I booty-danced outside in front of cars while dressed as a giant cell phone, baseball games at U.S. Cellular Field to watch the White Sox get beat to a pulp while cheering for the Boston Red Sox in BAHSTEN accents all night & more recently out to the bars downtown to celebrate Roxy’s (HI CHARLAY!) 21st b-day bash. Of course, I’m sure those of us who use Facebook and MySpace have heard about that Saturday night, so I won’tt go into too many details. Let’s just say I tried to re-create “The Hangover,” had some mixed drinks and became the most friendly drunk ever. I had such a fun time (from what I remember) just being able to let loose and hang out with everyone like my usual crazy self. After all the jokes and help I got walking, the following picture may just sum up the night.

This was the last thing I remember doing - passing out in the back seat.

Much thanks to Christina, who was a real trooper dealing with my bobblehead on her shoulder during the ride back from Wrigleyville. So, after sleeping in til 5:30pm the next day, I was back to my normal self, continuing the countdown to Orlando. I’ll be down from Tuesday the 7th thru Wednesday the 15th. A great week with family & catching up with plenty of old friends. I’m hoping to be a tourist while I’m down there for a few days by going to Disney and Universal. I just read that the new Rock It Roller Coaster @ Universal should be open by July 2nd. I’m not so sure how accurate that is, but I hope it’s opened up before I get there. I got the bachelor party plans all set up for Edwin, though I won’t disclose anything on here since the homo might be reading this. His wedding is on Saturday the 11th, which is the same night of UFC 100 that features one of the best fight cards ever. BUT, as the best man, I am willing to sacrifice watching it live in order to attend the wedding. You owe me! I have other plans besides the ones forementioned, but we’ll see how many of them come true.

Other than that, I’m looking forward to all the changes upcoming after I’m done with my vacation. Job promotion, finishing up school & keeping my finances in order. I’ve also been introduced to a site called Current.tv where many users go on to upload their own news stories. It’s a challenge for me, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ll probably be taking to the streets of Chicago, where they are full of culture and stories on every corner. I feel like Peter Parker doing freelance work, except I don’t want a boss like Jamison.

I’d say the only thing I have to complain about is my dieting habits. It’s been hard to keep from ordering pizza every week, but I’ve been trying to do my best. I’m going to be starting a real intense diet & workout plan via P90X. Let’s hope I can shed some pounds in the next 2 weeks. At least enough to look good with my shirt off while tanning hehe…

Ok people. It’s getting late, so I’ll keep this one short. But I will be doing more blogging from now on. God Bless & stay tuned…